Posts Tagged ‘philosophy’

wishing well & expectation

November 20, 2007

I want to analyse, dissect, understand, describe, classify, weigh, feel, touch and explain our need and process of wishing well to our friends and other brothers and sisters of the world, to myself. What is well wishing actually?

I would really like to learn to make other people happy. But for that one needs “know-how”, it seems we are learning whole life how to make other people happy – and it is not so easy. And then sometimes I feel that when people wish well to other people – that well wishing is actually “I don’t wish anything that is not well to you” and you’d agree, that is something completely different. Now some people wish well to other people in their own way – and that again is something from the world of limitation.

And I don’t want to limit people and their abilities. I cannot wish them things that I wish for myself too – presuming they would be good for them too. For example, for the time being, I do not have any wish whatsoever to climb the Himalayas. But there were people who fulfilled that wish in their life even before I was born. Of course, I do have a wish to run a marathon (I reckon it would not be so difficult thing to do, with adequate preparation) but I will not wish that to people who did not find their inspiration in running (yet).

Another thing that happens are expectations. We do something for someone – and then somehow subconsciously (or even consciously) we expect something in return. I remember that someone said once that only rich people can give. That is true. People are not rich and poor according to amount of wealth they amassed, but rather according to their capacity to give. If we cherish expectations it is the same thing as if we wrote the equation “I have expectations = I am poor” on T-shirts that we are wearing. Perhaps we are trying to hide our expectations cleverly – but our face will reveal it.

When we play chess, we do not get greatest joy when we correctly anticipated the oponent’s move – but provided that we observe the knightly beauty of fair-play, we will value more when our friend from the opposite side of table makes move that is unexpected, and better than all other moves we foresaw. We feel joy because new idea was revealed in front of our eyes, although it is evident that because of that idea we are losing our chess game.

Why to have expectations then in life? Even if our expectations are met – what is new? Let unpredicted beautiful things happen; and for that we must free space for newness by silencing our demanding part of mind.

Perhaps we selflessly do something and we say – even if that person do not know to value that properly, Nature or God will repay us back through some other person in some other time. This is nothing else but more refined expectation. But there is some joy in not expecting at all, in detaching from results of our works.

It is not just imagination, such joy. We can actually feel it. And our face will shine with selflessness, when nobody is watching or everybody is watching.